Day 5

Another day of sunshine and blue skies though we could not enjoy much of it because of the training and by the time we were done, we were generally tuckered out. "Causalty" rate amongst us are pretty high with two colleagues down with coughing and one who has a swollen gum due to heaty food and not enough sleep. I am still alright though, seems like my mom's insistence of me taking omega 3 and cod liver capsule every morning helped quite a bit. Even my morning sinus problem seems to have stopped. But nonetheless, i am still pretty tired. Not only physically, but mentally exhausted as well.

I started today pretty subdued and was still quite troubled after what happened yesterday. Didn't sleep very well either, in fact, had a dream of the person who 'attacked' us last evening. Not a happy dream, i tell you. Actually E didn't quite sleep either. Guess what happened really bugged us a great deal. It was apparent we would get no help from the HOD as well. Breakfast was a quiet affair and there was definitely some underlying tension with me and that person. I guess having two opinionated persons on the same trip who don't see eye to eye is a major pain in the ass. Anyway, at the training, on a few occasions when i asked the trainers some questions, she would disagree and distort my questions, which of course i then had to clarify again. It is horrible always trying to prove to others when they keep thinking you are wrong and naive. Thankfully, more often than not, she was the one who got the concepts off tangent. It didn't helped then that she made some snide remarks about how important it is to "work in a team" during lunch to the trainers just as i finished making some clarification on today's training.

My 'amusing' colleague would be please to know that i kept a straight face throughout (i really tried! if i couldn't i will look the other way). It has also occurred to me what the 3 of them were, what i observed, having difficulties understanding the tool, was because they had started using it the wrong way (without guidance) and fomulated some notions (not entirely accurate) of the tool. It was hard trying to undo or disconstruct the platform they have made for themselves and in some ways, they were also not quite aware that the platform was inaccurate, while it was easier for me and E to understand because we are getting the first hand true picture from the expert without preconceive expectations and notions.

The sad thing is, while today's training really made the whole picture clearer for me and E, the others do not quite see it that way and i know we are still going to disagree. However, i am quite tired and doesn't see how i am going to win this battle and 'work as a team' with them. It is also possible that we may have to embark on a different route from them in our different school. I don't know. Hopefully it didn't have to be that way. Perhaps who is right can only be proved in time. Yet, i can feel it in my guts that my impression of the tool cannot really be too far off and there are examples to back it up. Or perhaps it is just that i do not understand THEM and what they really mean...

It is only day 5. I guess there may be still hope.

27/07/04    5.40pm

View Photos (more work photos... mainly example of tasks)